AN INSURRECTION, EXPLOSIVES, AND LIFE CHANGING POLICY: A YEAR OF UNIMAGINABLE EXPERIENCE.

A year ago today, I began my journey as a Hill staffer. While I understood that a job of this magnitude was unprecedented in both rigor and opportunity, I could have never imagined all that would come with this journey in just 365 days.

The most important thing I think anyone should take away from this piece is that their is power in believing you can. When I took on this position everything in my heart and mind questioned if this was a feasible feat, I naturally believed I was in over my head by taking on such an enormous roll as my first “big girl job.” As a result of this mindset, I stunted my growth and shrunk myself into such a tiny ball that I limited myself.

I was so in my head that I made a senseless mistake in front of hundreds of people. But from that experience I grew, I came to realize that when you enter a space that humbles you, it is your responsibility to meet the moment and be all that the people around you believed you could be. To expand when you are so scared it makes you physically sick. This lesson has grown me into a professional that pushes boundaries and actually seeks the difficult task in order to further my growth as a person and professional. Failure is invaluable — it naturally builds character and puts you leap years ahead of your peers. So strive for the role that scares the life out of you and dare to seek the position you are sure you’ll never get.

I strongly feel that this position came into my life in a divine way. I had moved back in with my parents at the start of what would soon become a global pandemic leaving millions of Americans unemployed, and realistically I knew the chances of me finding a job were slim to none.

So I gave up on the search and set out to work at Zara while living in my parents home in NY. It was not ideal, but I was still pressing forward with my life and that was enough for me. It did not take long for my idea of life to go out the window and God’s plan for my life to step in. Within two weeks of moving back home and starting an internship in New York an opportunity of a lifetime arised, and I met the moment.

The beginning of my journey was one of the highest highs I’ve experienced. Everyday I came into an office rooted in history and prestige, and worked alongside some of the brightest minds. Though it seemed like times were uncertain, one thing I was certain of was this was the opportunity of a lifetime and I was going to get all that I could out of it. Unfortunately, however, I got more than I bargained for in some ways.

January 6th was the worst day of my life — a day I was certain I would not make it out alive. That day my frustration with some parts of politics laid roots. Prior to this experience, I naturally assumed that the work we were doing meant something. That it changed lives, more than it hurt them. But here I was, less than six months into the job, being chased down the halls of the Capitol asking if I was “afraid of Nazis.” How do you answer a question like that, but more importantly, how do you continue to work in a space you had so much faith in, after seeing so much hate? I still don’t know if I have the answer to that question, but I pressed on anyway, and I am glad I did.

The hours I spent trapped in the Capitol that day, hearing the slurs, the violence, even gunshots just steps away, I thought a lot about how I had gotten there and what this all meant. From that experience I took the power of manifestation and timing. I prayed for work that made me feel something before getting this role, something that made me feel empowered and motivated to strive for more. The hate and bigotry filling the walls of the U.S. Capitol that day proved I was exactly where I asked to be, no matter the pain or sheer fear I had in that moment, it was where God intended me to be, and because of it I walk with more purpose and understand politics and division in a deeper way.

I will never forget three people that day, for as long as I live. Two insurrectionists — one who chased me up the stairs to my office, and one in police custody who gave the most hateful and chilling stare I may ever see, as National Guard escorted us by him to safety. The last one, someone I still think fondly of, a young photographer I have not seen since who placed her hand on my back and prayed for me as our office door was broken down by the National Guard.

For what it’s worth, January 6th taught me that there is power in blatant division. For four years Donald Trump got away with lies and bigotry and hatred, but the insurrection on the Capitol was something that even his strongest proponents — including Minority Leader Mitch McConnell — could not let go.

Politics is flawed, and I cannot deny that having seen what i’ve seen in this year alone. But it is also impactful. Since I started, we’ve voted on legislation to end the ongoing pandemic, invest in at-risk communities, build infrastructure, preserve our historic monuments, remove confederate celebratory monuments, and lessen the learning gap — all these things matter.

Just before I entered in my role on the Hill, I was incredibly selfish and undoubtedly misguided in most of my beliefs, but what I can say is every step we take is rooted in a bigger picture, for ourselves and for humanity. So no matter how big or small the task, make it impactful. Believe that your work matters and will lead to some type of fulfillment.

I look at the brilliant people I am surrounded by and I am humbled. I walk around the capitol and see the potential of what I can be, and I look at my Congressman and understand the power of an intentional, purpose driven life.

If you are in a space where you are looking for a job or starting your own business, trust the process and embrace the parts that aren’t as glamorous. When you get denial letters, or hear nothing at all, chalk it up to the possibility of a better opportunity in the future. But most importantly, believe that the world can be better than what it’s been — if we order our steps in such a way that they impact our most marginalized and disenfranchised communities.

The road to the Hill was hard, and since I’ve been here it has only gotten harder. But everyday I wake up and understand that this was the plan anticipated for me and the future is fluid. So believe in potential and pair uncertainty with a relentless will to be the best at whatever career you take on, and understand that your wildest dreams are more possible than you think.